WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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