She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
