Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
