He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
