Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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