i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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