At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
