It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize