if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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