After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
