her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
