your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize