I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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