all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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