Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
