This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize