No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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