did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
