if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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