Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
