Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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