Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
