you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize