Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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