People with herpes should wear stickers.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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