1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
