I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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