She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
