Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
