are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
