the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
