do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We are all done wearing pants today
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
