So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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