Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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