do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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