Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
