Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
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