So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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