Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
