i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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