i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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