Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
