Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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