Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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