This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
