WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
