i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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