i used baking grease as lip gloss
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
