look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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