So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
