And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
