im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
