She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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