Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize