You're completely useless in the revolution.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
